tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17821255747850676692024-02-21T08:27:14.323-08:00Finding BeautyCaseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-60172323643022242912010-11-18T10:23:00.001-08:002010-11-18T11:08:18.982-08:00Covenant<div style="text-align: justify;">It has been a while. I have long thought of shutting this spot down completely but, for some reason, I cannot bring myself to do so. I am sure, after such a long hiatus, that no one reads anymore. I am okay with that.<br /><br />I just finished skimming over my last dozen entries- what a difference a year makes! This journey has felt so much longer than 18 months and yet, in some ways, it feels as though it all began only yesterday.<br /><br />___________________<br /><br />I have been a Christian my whole life. As long as I can remember Jesus has been apart of me and I've been about "his business". I know this is a privileged and now I can appreciate this much more than <span style="font-style: italic;">before</span>. <span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Before</span>, when I longed for a stronger testimony. When I was jealous of others who had life changing moments that rocked their worlds forever. When I wished I too had some marker in my life, some definitive line that all things moving forward hinge upon.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Before</span> I turned 30 and grew wise. :)<br /><br />___________________<br /><br />My twenty-ninth year will always be one remembered for the heartache it brought. Two miscarriages, 2 surgeries, 1 severely debilitating infection, and months of wandering in the desert. I stopped writing here because I was tried of hearing myself moan and mourn. Truthfully, I was just tried of myself. :)<br /><br />But now, now I have something to say:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Thank you Jesus for your tender mercies. Thank you Father of my heart for <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2062:1-2&version=NIV">carrying me through the darkest of dark places</a>. Thank you Lover of my soul for <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Job+36:16&version=NIV">wooing me</a> without ceasing. For <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2023&version=NIV">calling my name</a> over and over again. Thank you <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Zephaniah%203:14-17&version=NIV">Mighty to Save</a> for showing me <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Joshua%205:13-%206:5&version=NIV">the battle plan</a>. For bringing me t<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Joshua%205:10-12&version=NIV">hrough the desert into the Promised Land</a>.</span><br /><br />___________________<br /><br />My God, He is a <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Covenant Keeper</span>. The <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+15&version=NIV">convenant He made so long ago with Abraham</a>, He made it with Himself.<br /><blockquote>"When the sun had set and darkness had fallen, a smoking firepot with a blazing torch appeared and passed between the pieces." Genesis 15:17</blockquote>Abraham didn't walk through the pieces of the sacrificial animals. God the Father and God the Son did. The covenant He made <span style="font-style: italic;">He must keep because He made it with Himself</span>.<br /><br />___________________<br /><br />There is mercy in the darkness.<br /><br />There is a Hope, really only One, that will chase the shadows away.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">He</span> is faithful. He <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">is</span> faithful. He is <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">faithful</span>.<br /><br />Come Spring, I will once again see His faithfulness in the most tangible of ways, the eyes of a babe.<br /></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-68212574889220452902010-07-30T11:35:00.000-07:002014-04-23T11:36:28.647-07:00On my will and having Hope<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW60wHWviZvWUi7cJQUFIJorQ5aWmkZDrd3E1dEyTNe9MMwxN22voDwitDcGbVht9ogEvWY8ZR-RTi4FPsEil0BZWZfbGj6BPCL-KL5GBddaXR1kwEl_3TsjaCbgAWxNl1hWT6VCJgAQHv/s1600/IMG_0109.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW60wHWviZvWUi7cJQUFIJorQ5aWmkZDrd3E1dEyTNe9MMwxN22voDwitDcGbVht9ogEvWY8ZR-RTi4FPsEil0BZWZfbGj6BPCL-KL5GBddaXR1kwEl_3TsjaCbgAWxNl1hWT6VCJgAQHv/s400/IMG_0109.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5504888301135553346" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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It seems, as a parent, I am constantly challenged by my boy's strong will. Always figuring out ways to out-smart him... and his stubborn streak. It is hard work, let me tell ya. Yet, I am so thankful that he <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> strong willed. No doubt as he grows he will be firm in his beliefs and steadfast in his loyalty.<br />
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I find myself sorting through the same things in my own life. This roller coaster of wavering emotions and steady will; like one of those old wooden roller coaster that are bumpy and jarring.</div>
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I feel angry. I <span style="font-style: italic;">will</span> lock my eyes on His.<br />
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I feel worried. I <span style="font-style: italic;">will</span> trust His faithfulness.<br />
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I feel frustrated. I <span style="font-style: italic;">will</span> rest beside His quiet waters.<br />
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I feel like moving ahead without forethought. I<span style="font-style: italic;"> will</span> wait patiently for the Lord.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-DGKLe_znz3H_RymnbAjowR-cND0LGGG9IZZ_t8oqeWy_Xq-TkGqjX7sjylPWUwYMvxyqKBnTKqJbLn7aQVGIkwyt57HClrzJQ46l5eE-L4TjHCsAGIZYp5vojcYPQ7OfVLcFILVWNTMe/s1600/IMG_0107.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-DGKLe_znz3H_RymnbAjowR-cND0LGGG9IZZ_t8oqeWy_Xq-TkGqjX7sjylPWUwYMvxyqKBnTKqJbLn7aQVGIkwyt57HClrzJQ46l5eE-L4TjHCsAGIZYp5vojcYPQ7OfVLcFILVWNTMe/s400/IMG_0107.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5504888298869900706" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
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These last 11 months have been rough for me personally. My first miscarriage was last autumn; the spring was filled with weeks of unexplained abdominal pain followed by ovarian surgery; and summer brought along with it a horrific mouth/jaw infection followed by miscarriage #2 only a few weeks ago.<br />
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In summary: This season in my life has sucked.<br />
<span style="font-size: 85%; font-style: italic;">(That quote comes from my wonderful mother-in-law so I'm allowed to use it on this blog!)</span><br />
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I have been wandering in the desert for a long while now. Knowing in my head that God is good, but doubting in my heart. Most days I choose to follow my heart and doubt Him. Surviving off only the manna from the desert, nothing more. Those little droplets of Truth hidden in my heart, wooing me closer, even though I mostly ignored them.<br />
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Days before my second miscarriage I felt like I had finally come into the promised land. I opened up and saw His faithfulness, His steady hand in my life. I saw that He is good. He is faithful. Then, within the week I lost another baby.<br />
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To say I was (and still am) crushed is an understatement. Several days following I lived only in a place of extreme anger. Raging at God. I felt no reason to pretend with Him and I am so thankful that He can handle my anger! However, as the week went on I realized I was getting no where. My anger was accomplishing nothing but isolating me from those I love.<br />
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I recently read a quote that said, <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"The Lord cultivates intimacy in our relationship with Him by delaying our answer until we cry out." </span> Before I might not have agreed with this, but now I realize that even through my wandering I was growing closer to Him. I came out of the desert with a depth of understanding I didn't have before going in. He was creating intimacy in our relationship through the wandering, and even in my anger, because all along I was crying out for Him. I was longing to hear His voice.<br />
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He never left my side. Now I have eyes to see that, and heart that believes it too.<br />
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I have now come to a place where I can stand firm on the promised land- on the freedom from my wandering. I cling to the knowledge that He is as grieved as I was/am over what I've lost. I rest in His grace because it IS enough. Even when my heart wants to disagree. Even when the anger rares up again and I want to wallow in self pity. My <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">will</span> stands firm. <span style="font-style: italic;">My head knows the truth and I will act out of my will until my emotions follow suit.</span><br />
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Some call it routine- stale, stagnant, a loss of what's sacred.<br />
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I call it survival. I see it as being faithful with what I know and what I've been given.<br />
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I call it HOPE.<br />
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<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%205:3-5&version=NIV">And Hope does not disappoint</a>.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWiLVwUYLukKm798-FLnfS9b-jagfPIaKxf_MinwT3mmcuFYaw5PzMvmdO1KYChZfwc6naSqkCRo-ftx9MyDjum4WYPbtQ3xLvBS005Ktdgcp0YKfe2SFHAbGcMFCJCAPVlMpAJWJvvCWr/s1600/IMG_0108.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWiLVwUYLukKm798-FLnfS9b-jagfPIaKxf_MinwT3mmcuFYaw5PzMvmdO1KYChZfwc6naSqkCRo-ftx9MyDjum4WYPbtQ3xLvBS005Ktdgcp0YKfe2SFHAbGcMFCJCAPVlMpAJWJvvCWr/s400/IMG_0108.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5504888289165825714" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-45117271771588462892010-03-02T09:53:00.000-08:002010-03-02T10:55:32.398-08:00Shadows<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">He reveals the deep things of darkness and bring deep shadows into the light. </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Job 12:22</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOyIgtKnzPx-v9sj9Y3-g33tvb7p5DSZcGXSueges27gy9WuAN52QEUS8-kDvhv18Dx7RMpJLc3z6bvXAGKh99-gkjCUJ-I8trjQa-4_3N_-bUECol0U23KGnLAtOSbdsl5-J9-77d35ac/s1600-h/IMG_0015.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOyIgtKnzPx-v9sj9Y3-g33tvb7p5DSZcGXSueges27gy9WuAN52QEUS8-kDvhv18Dx7RMpJLc3z6bvXAGKh99-gkjCUJ-I8trjQa-4_3N_-bUECol0U23KGnLAtOSbdsl5-J9-77d35ac/s400/IMG_0015.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444097470025697874" border="0" /></a>There are days, much like the past few, when the shadows are coal-black. When darkness hovers and thoughts get cloudy. My eyes ache for signs of life. My soul thirsts for greener pastures.<br /><br />I long for the sun to chase away the shadows.<br /><br />I beseech the Son to drive out the darkness.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9jaieRx6abDHEy-0vYqD5Mu3_2P6I1bvarIXQylhroFQprQ6fhAw2KSITY8ZBxsizyOFHf-RQKGUyUbyGnQQ41QDzIVjmR9kv-c8JaGmN_a-JAuZ-UyscdPTeFXZuc74dM5J0sN83-JOp/s1600-h/IMG_0020.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9jaieRx6abDHEy-0vYqD5Mu3_2P6I1bvarIXQylhroFQprQ6fhAw2KSITY8ZBxsizyOFHf-RQKGUyUbyGnQQ41QDzIVjmR9kv-c8JaGmN_a-JAuZ-UyscdPTeFXZuc74dM5J0sN83-JOp/s400/IMG_0020.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444097484367079298" border="0" /></a><br />It is an old battle, this anxious, soul scaring sorrow. Years have past since its last visit, but it feels much the same as it did then. I analyze. Is it fear? Longing? Misplaced desire? Sky high expectations? Self thoughts? Lack of faith?<br /><br />Truth reveals: all of the above. Bust mostly? Too much me and not enough Him.<br /><br />Strange, because I've never felt closer. Like the <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2042:1&version=NIV">deer</a> I pant. Like the Psalmist, although answer are not at the ready, I will stand firm in my resolve.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjakA9y8GVz9W18YjQjfs5FkCj9bYsCgOTWLAhyphenhyphenmzXJLP9Fji_v32rgz6dzigtEQyVDVhVp5rXBh6uHPknEzi9wpCoOIPYvTPjRLSUwdNOCZt_GjTpKEPKQex2nhp3KWo4ctDjkzUwVCzP-/s1600-h/IMG_0021.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjakA9y8GVz9W18YjQjfs5FkCj9bYsCgOTWLAhyphenhyphenmzXJLP9Fji_v32rgz6dzigtEQyVDVhVp5rXBh6uHPknEzi9wpCoOIPYvTPjRLSUwdNOCZt_GjTpKEPKQex2nhp3KWo4ctDjkzUwVCzP-/s400/IMG_0021.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5444097490772333154" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;">Why so downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for <span style="font-weight: bold;">I will yet praise him</span>, my Savior and my God.<br /><br />Psalm 42:11<br /></div><br /><br />{The thing about shadows? They wouldn't exist without the sun.}Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-27679884227770426942010-02-18T09:15:00.000-08:002010-02-18T09:56:21.618-08:00Finding Beauty<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">"My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life."</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Psalm 119:50</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifr5dREofdmmYF7I1hBk5kxWxLYml3W0_C_hL-iqLbh36jpCPH6yKkPkKweNw_eNLmtM2G7I7KcorK3SrW39CLTq9oVAXlVeWeJR_oK6OQrNyo2HwW6yTLP2SN2RGpU684Qqlxs5fZd7kq/s1600-h/IMG_0010.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifr5dREofdmmYF7I1hBk5kxWxLYml3W0_C_hL-iqLbh36jpCPH6yKkPkKweNw_eNLmtM2G7I7KcorK3SrW39CLTq9oVAXlVeWeJR_oK6OQrNyo2HwW6yTLP2SN2RGpU684Qqlxs5fZd7kq/s400/IMG_0010.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439641837159898066" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">The days have been filled with the ordinary: cleaning, changing diapers, kissing stubbed toes, trying out new recipes, and me, stumbling my way along this journey. Putting one foot in front of the other and then, on a good day, reaching beyond that into moments filled with wonder.<br /></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />I have made a point of looking for the beauty in the past weeks. Really seeking out that which radiates with His glory. Some days, like today, it's more difficult. Yet I've learned that it is never impossible. His glory, His image is everywhere I turn. <span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">It is my eyes that scale over and lose focus</span>.</span> It is my perspective that needs shifting.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGKeMhya4yBWxdnQwi8K939fE0PYuBH1H3oxWmebQ_yxgs-qQxIOGCqSMfYnPtfgwUUTBpBKkiTxn6Fk7cd7CyIJOgY4GvpnbHmWGTCs8GaC920XIrfI-caXGBDOEGF59LqK_zB9pqEcpg/s1600-h/IMG_0011.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGKeMhya4yBWxdnQwi8K939fE0PYuBH1H3oxWmebQ_yxgs-qQxIOGCqSMfYnPtfgwUUTBpBKkiTxn6Fk7cd7CyIJOgY4GvpnbHmWGTCs8GaC920XIrfI-caXGBDOEGF59LqK_zB9pqEcpg/s400/IMG_0011.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439641828072938450" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">He is a <span style="font-weight: bold;">covenant keeper</span>. He said He'd make <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+61:3&version=NIV">beauty of ashes</a>. He said He would provide <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+11:28&version=NIV">rest for the weary</a>. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2023:3&version=NIV">Restore broken souls</a>. And He is <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Zephaniah+3:17&version=NIV">mighty to save</a>.<br /><br />He said it and I believe it.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtPRv0xBGqybPEyhw-3P5jQkNovbch2WC0bjUcjVpwjBke81v7Q_c1V2mCqK4iIPOoRI0Az4kf4KY82Npy28XVOpk5Lp2V1_weiFe55w3ogwQfLIPFFRkwDIqc5mmqOugW9-XemTE_I0jn/s1600-h/IMG_0013.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtPRv0xBGqybPEyhw-3P5jQkNovbch2WC0bjUcjVpwjBke81v7Q_c1V2mCqK4iIPOoRI0Az4kf4KY82Npy28XVOpk5Lp2V1_weiFe55w3ogwQfLIPFFRkwDIqc5mmqOugW9-XemTE_I0jn/s400/IMG_0013.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5439641822666269906" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">So, I will look past the mundane. <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">I choose</span> [because it is a choice] to see His beauty, His delight. I choose to rest on His promise.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">He redeems the ordinary and shows me beauty everyday.</span><br /><br /><br />Lord, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Corinthians%203:16-17&version=NIV">remove the veil</a> that I might see You more clearly.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">*Photos taken on a warmer day, many months ago. :)</span><br /></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-23296815998347933592010-01-29T12:09:00.000-08:002010-01-29T13:05:14.384-08:00The Overflow, pt. 2This week I have found beauty in big and small things alike, and <a href="http://findingbeautyeveryday.blogspot.com/2010/01/overflow.html">once again</a> this heart is filled with gratitude...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">8) simple treasures passed down from a loving heart<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5ABEpvSi-oLNP3QHy3nFk4tQRKQGLiDTSZwfFHEWjai7NeDUXpMjKQJlZnnTE399wgkbNPNhuTmjYRD7QdQQHFwQbC5uek3VPpn6O2nNTqVBRp1j6ciW1YQPSSsLpgDoCffDCm8Tpogc6/s1600-h/treasures.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5ABEpvSi-oLNP3QHy3nFk4tQRKQGLiDTSZwfFHEWjai7NeDUXpMjKQJlZnnTE399wgkbNPNhuTmjYRD7QdQQHFwQbC5uek3VPpn6O2nNTqVBRp1j6ciW1YQPSSsLpgDoCffDCm8Tpogc6/s400/treasures.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5432257683143387410" border="0" /></a><br />9) ordinary moments that make my heart soar<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY0Hvh5475IHxhgb3Yh1k1M299RFCYNXMQxAayKUIoOq0KDiSoA9if27yPJjntVXj8u0A672dSvf7K31iHZaFBRq0JKu-b4WxQsqAVX1iVnAJ8ZFVrkg-iFZptOuv0WkCKyYQV6FRQd4pk/s1600-h/ordinary+moments.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY0Hvh5475IHxhgb3Yh1k1M299RFCYNXMQxAayKUIoOq0KDiSoA9if27yPJjntVXj8u0A672dSvf7K31iHZaFBRq0JKu-b4WxQsqAVX1iVnAJ8ZFVrkg-iFZptOuv0WkCKyYQV6FRQd4pk/s400/ordinary+moments.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5432257676844221266" border="0" /></a><br />10) friends who speak boldly into my life<br /><br />11) shadows that produce stronger faith<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjZl54Y8lY4HFQ0MUpCZKsTiWd_dklrxWpWMBiwI-Hy2qabgCzqrEBc3HgPZXMGtklTW1w4aSOzOqbqIfdwKWlV3cV_ZMzOrDpHiINWEgyDfUDAcQsffo6aMZe-q0NZRbogENy_tySjzH2/s1600-h/shadows.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjZl54Y8lY4HFQ0MUpCZKsTiWd_dklrxWpWMBiwI-Hy2qabgCzqrEBc3HgPZXMGtklTW1w4aSOzOqbqIfdwKWlV3cV_ZMzOrDpHiINWEgyDfUDAcQsffo6aMZe-q0NZRbogENy_tySjzH2/s400/shadows.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5432257669635223842" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">12) <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah%2055:10-11&version=NLT">faithful words, that accomplish much</a><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">13) peals of laughter<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR6kjBn0TSWleK0OwkwEL4AL9gRVkMhGwXE4dLs67oM2EHhaZt9haab18F0FZsXvyyvA5BzrPn7XqR5shygjKSiyBaiL-KNWwMUdHCzTfzpAwyfNhJ7AukiFEf6M93MvSmDQCkoNPrvvvf/s1600-h/peals+of+laughter.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR6kjBn0TSWleK0OwkwEL4AL9gRVkMhGwXE4dLs67oM2EHhaZt9haab18F0FZsXvyyvA5BzrPn7XqR5shygjKSiyBaiL-KNWwMUdHCzTfzpAwyfNhJ7AukiFEf6M93MvSmDQCkoNPrvvvf/s400/peals+of+laughter.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5432257664691155330" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">14) chocolate :)<br /></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-49991984356153725742010-01-22T11:35:00.000-08:002010-01-22T12:40:08.083-08:00The Overflow<a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/2003/06/gratitude-community.html">Thankfulness</a>, from a heart that overflows...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">1) for sun that warms, even on a cold day<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiycbH4-_qAcfP-ZOCNekxDwmoRD5JaKuB1-sqTPNOjGjaFQeTnrCSNBEM_TyKx-WnTlK3XpvHBmTblexfG4_XetiI-LoOPwOyp0knSunJnVQQpg4XohJP8Yq4iFMJP6sgSye9eooGtpDvQ/s1600-h/warmth.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiycbH4-_qAcfP-ZOCNekxDwmoRD5JaKuB1-sqTPNOjGjaFQeTnrCSNBEM_TyKx-WnTlK3XpvHBmTblexfG4_XetiI-LoOPwOyp0knSunJnVQQpg4XohJP8Yq4iFMJP6sgSye9eooGtpDvQ/s400/warmth.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5429651436797447570" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">2) for a chatty boy who cheers me during the cheerless chores of the day<br /><br />3) for quiet moments submerged in holy conversation<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZBRDIm8UV6kxLqakYTdsxGv9RUeK7ZfnUnefGKUE1oYtuVaAmsYq9_EtKzqJ__pU0oKS7yDshFPjkilQ9PgeuxYT5VSvq_I-ExcP5D39RdRi2RqOjoIsTSRSKAC-N8v7sJYHlhNmJs9hd/s1600-h/quiet+moments.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZBRDIm8UV6kxLqakYTdsxGv9RUeK7ZfnUnefGKUE1oYtuVaAmsYq9_EtKzqJ__pU0oKS7yDshFPjkilQ9PgeuxYT5VSvq_I-ExcP5D39RdRi2RqOjoIsTSRSKAC-N8v7sJYHlhNmJs9hd/s400/quiet+moments.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5429662418485610498" border="0" /></a><br />4) for progress, no matter how insignificant<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">5) for snuggles under warm covers with husband, boy and dog... a pile of pure joy<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMTrX0GwzmwFbJyYVBGOKj88uUJ_DYS_XlA23AyhbWF1346jM1pJZjICyq4qA1ihLnGCo6F4c9PgP8jJNIwqqsCxLj___-iOKJU8-bRljB8E4wrWqfxrw8JulMG3P9V5EK2IE29cv2I55Q/s1600-h/snuggles.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMTrX0GwzmwFbJyYVBGOKj88uUJ_DYS_XlA23AyhbWF1346jM1pJZjICyq4qA1ihLnGCo6F4c9PgP8jJNIwqqsCxLj___-iOKJU8-bRljB8E4wrWqfxrw8JulMG3P9V5EK2IE29cv2I55Q/s400/snuggles.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5429662407147801634" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">6) for souls to walk this journey with, whom inspire and encourage along the way<br /><br />7) for my love, who faithfully and graciously does the dinner dishes<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMg_LQuWfX55ZX9RL0ZK4yz4u3W6qz6MvPEK6XDCuJs-XeC-HC5L4o5nfBB8iXnfUzTZovTR6r5QMnlDnkKeKrJGdu38CENa09__g60y-_LQjRWlTOO-WAWBQPdNCM3ZhhWVyRcYnbIT0Q/s1600-h/dish+love.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMg_LQuWfX55ZX9RL0ZK4yz4u3W6qz6MvPEK6XDCuJs-XeC-HC5L4o5nfBB8iXnfUzTZovTR6r5QMnlDnkKeKrJGdu38CENa09__g60y-_LQjRWlTOO-WAWBQPdNCM3ZhhWVyRcYnbIT0Q/s400/dish+love.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5429662405110696098" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">You anoint my head with oil; my cup <span style="font-weight: bold;">overflows</span>.</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br />Psalm 23:5</span><br /></div><br /></div></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-66553616034507343632010-01-13T12:22:00.000-08:002010-01-13T13:30:06.606-08:00Bread of Life<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgFgdzXGoqGkO14u6i2tlkA9MIi1XLn-O_kwKgzQtHHs2Mkp9RYy9A5UUet7Dq6KV8r-yDtMotytNbI0aS2ETRe91N5UmLTFPD9ldqCSGl-H7iFmGYcLmAM9yTdxIHVK7iFfRsG10vWg1a/s1600-h/quiet+waters.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgFgdzXGoqGkO14u6i2tlkA9MIi1XLn-O_kwKgzQtHHs2Mkp9RYy9A5UUet7Dq6KV8r-yDtMotytNbI0aS2ETRe91N5UmLTFPD9ldqCSGl-H7iFmGYcLmAM9yTdxIHVK7iFfRsG10vWg1a/s400/quiet+waters.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5426338278420220978" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">"... he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul..."</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Psalm 23: 3</span><br /><br /></div>Here is where I have lived the last six months; <span style="font-style: italic;">inhaling</span> every last bit of life, promise, hope, comfort from His words.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=isaiah%2043:%201-7&version=NIV">Isaiah 43: 1-7</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+23&version=NIV">Psalm 23</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2061:%201-4&version=NIV">Psalm 61: 1-4</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2062&version=NIV">Psalm 62</a><br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;">O Lord, that you would speak and I would listen. That I would know your heart for me. Your unending mercies that are </span><a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Lamentations%203:22-23&version=NLT">new every morning</a><span style="font-style: italic;">. (The joy that brings! New mercies every morning!) Your faithfulness to see me though all of life's circumstances. Your promise to </span><a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians+1%3A6&version=NIV">finish what you began</a><span style="font-style: italic;"> in me. How humbled I am by your kind generosity.</span><br /></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-27057555095831264702010-01-10T15:34:00.000-08:002010-01-10T15:43:36.339-08:00Love<div style="text-align: justify;">My mom recently shared a story with me that has <a href="http://www.aholyexperience.com/2009/10/fine-art-of-subtraction-shift-to-see.html">shifted my perspective</a> about loving well. The story is simple and goes like this:<br /><blockquote>For years Mom would grumble and complain every time she had to clean Dad's discarded whiskers from the bathroom vanity. In anger Mom would ask Dad, "Please remember to do it yourself next time!" In frustration, the next day, Mom would once again clean up those whiskers.<br /><br />One day as Mom was wiping at the counter, contempt-filled thoughts flowing, the Holy Spirit opened up her eyes and shifted her perspective. In a whisper the Spirit asked, "<span style="font-weight: bold;">What will you do when he's gone?</span>"<br /><br />The realization of not having whiskers to clean up in the future was too much for her to bear. Mom immediately sought forgiveness and now gratefully, and with much joy, sweeps up Dad's precious whiskers every morning.</blockquote><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">It's easy to love with feeling and emotion. It is hard to love with practical reason and mundane tasks. We are called, as lovers and Christ followers, to love completely, unconditionally.<br /><br /></span></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-64342721291956001442009-12-18T12:52:00.000-08:002009-12-18T13:32:58.307-08:00Hope<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">"Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Psalm 25:5</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ4Mfhnkqutr11_vg5rCZTXRV_N0lcyTTBtfDE2uxYoB9MVsEh6QacpAUOklkUNHFA4TYjioe0QDouv2d-z2ByEzroZd0DknEkMi39Sl0UQEc4XPn33WdRkcI8zzN6zz2k2Qm-f5vfZ7VK/s1600-h/IMG_2368.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ4Mfhnkqutr11_vg5rCZTXRV_N0lcyTTBtfDE2uxYoB9MVsEh6QacpAUOklkUNHFA4TYjioe0QDouv2d-z2ByEzroZd0DknEkMi39Sl0UQEc4XPn33WdRkcI8zzN6zz2k2Qm-f5vfZ7VK/s400/IMG_2368.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5416691980192318834" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">My intention was never to abandon this blog; nor was my intention for it to turn into a sad place. Yet here I am, many weeks between posts, coming to write again as my heart is heavy. The topic is the same as the last few times I've stopped in... mourning.<br /><br />Most days I am good. Most days I smile, love on my child and husband, and I am happy and whole. Today, like a few other days sprinkled amongst the rest, I am sad. I am mourning a loss that was never really mine to being with.<br /><br />I think this is the hardest part for me... this baby that I lost wasn't really there. There was no embryo, no fetus, no life. Just placenta and raging hormones. I cannot find comfort in the thought of a little one waiting for me in heaven because there was no little one. Yet my heart loved so deeply. And my mind raced ahead to create a new nursery in our little house. I day-dreamed of names and was aching to buy all things pink and girly.<br /><br />At this point in the pregnancy we would be finding out if we were having a boy or a girl. I would be getting nice and round, being near 6 months along. I would be beseeching the Lord for a small child this time around (not the 11.2 lbs of my firstborn). I would be buying small things to hide under the tree for Jaron to open for his new sibling. As a family we would be making plans and buying a bigger car.<br /><br />These days, when those thoughts fill my every moment... these are hard days. Days when bed seems like a good place to hide. When tears come and my heart struggles to remember the Hope I have found.<br /><br />But I do have <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+33:18&version=NIV">hope</a>. I am confident in my gracious Redeemer, because He <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> gracious. He <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> compassionate. He <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> loving.* I am confident that<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Philippians%201:6&version=NLT"> He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it</a>. I have no doubt that He is my <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+4:6&version=NIV">Abba Father</a>. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+4:6&version=NIV">My refuge, my fortress, my deliverer. </a><br /><br />Someday, I will again hold a newborn in my arms-- one that belongs to me at least for a little while-- and I will see His goodness. I will see His love. Right now I trust in what I know to be true and I wait for the future. On a sad day, that is what brings me comfort.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >*Did you know that is says that at least 6 different times in the bible? <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Chronicles+30:9&version=NIV">Here</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+103:8&version=NIV">here</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+111:4&version=NIV">here</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+145:8&version=NIV">here</a>, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Joel+2:13&version=NIV">here</a> and <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Jonah+4:2&version=NIV">here</a> are the ones I found after a quick search.</span><br /></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-16680503265626422132009-10-30T13:11:00.000-07:002009-10-30T14:16:30.773-07:00You are still God.<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">"... yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!" Habakuk 3:18<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmiKHomUV-QDyqiK6ewMMzH4su-aBjehZ7IuYealfSkpWrYof_xps5Q9Fx0MrneYxmPSX-CKW3QFsU1uVluo6LlMTkc9CCrDlj7Io4_uoYeUqxEQgb5r22jjHANBe1unH4V7S9-dKwjCBu/s1600-h/Library+-+0070.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmiKHomUV-QDyqiK6ewMMzH4su-aBjehZ7IuYealfSkpWrYof_xps5Q9Fx0MrneYxmPSX-CKW3QFsU1uVluo6LlMTkc9CCrDlj7Io4_uoYeUqxEQgb5r22jjHANBe1unH4V7S9-dKwjCBu/s400/Library+-+0070.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5398490159553128642" border="0" /></a> Endless leaves fall. Today the winds have blown steady and the down pour of yellow, red and orange is almost complete. Mere days since a glance out my window made me gasp at the sea of lime green.<br /><br />All things change. What is happening in the physical world around me is a dramatic representation of what is happening inside of me.<br /></div><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxDziYDsyUWNrpMiMXlraXVujuU0UyVPlgObvPMtQkGCeho57cSpD-a_iIohAgkggKDNyWsR-yaQz4pFTGQ1AndZUn_CRo88RFFgFUotsAz82FOBhRy770DyrucCWQsZCJryA_RaZbhagd/s1600-h/Library+-+0066.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxDziYDsyUWNrpMiMXlraXVujuU0UyVPlgObvPMtQkGCeho57cSpD-a_iIohAgkggKDNyWsR-yaQz4pFTGQ1AndZUn_CRo88RFFgFUotsAz82FOBhRy770DyrucCWQsZCJryA_RaZbhagd/s400/Library+-+0066.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5398490039141518242" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=job%201:20-22&version=NKJV">The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away,</a> yet my heart does not always bless His name in the midst of pain. One week into <a href="http://findingbeautyeveryday.blogspot.com/2009/09/mourning.html">my mourning</a> this is what was scratched into my journal, "I don't want to say yes to Your faithfulness if this is what it looks like. I AM ANGRY AT YOU!"<br /><br />Tears fall even now, as I struggle to over come those same emotions. It is hard to make sense of loss. It is hard to understand why. Why? Why!<br /><br />It is is hard to keep my heart soft. Daily I reach out, time and again, begging for mercy. Then begging for forgiveness for the words I have hurled at Him in my mind.<br /><br />Daily He forgives. Daily He embraces. Daily He loves.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVqtAHIuiTSLmkND0g3ozTr7a0cSx8AcrJTtkIs7HejKdGY60QGmAVHC4POlVeoTQBqTnvDJM6_0xSUZblaEwq8WmdPidUmEbdrMkQy6L-9D5FuJPWaGenPBSD5ZlwMduRYDUTMPik9aty/s1600-h/Library+-+0025.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVqtAHIuiTSLmkND0g3ozTr7a0cSx8AcrJTtkIs7HejKdGY60QGmAVHC4POlVeoTQBqTnvDJM6_0xSUZblaEwq8WmdPidUmEbdrMkQy6L-9D5FuJPWaGenPBSD5ZlwMduRYDUTMPik9aty/s400/Library+-+0025.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5398490030755161938" border="0" /></a>The gentleness of His touch calms me. Centers me. Fills me with courage to trust, love, <span style="font-style: italic;">hope</span>.<br /><blockquote>"Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,<br />and there are no grapes on the vines;<br />even though the olive crop fails,<br />and the fields lie empty and barren;<br />even though the flocks die in the fields,<br />and the cattle barns are empty,<br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">yet I will rejoice</span> in the L<span style="font-variant: small-caps;">ord</span>!<br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!</span>"<br /><br />Habakuk 3:17-18</blockquote><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidBdxLhXIo_f_hQCzhtlUDLHGl8ZJPtaTFw-BEscTWNxv-zyPWDNu2aAOR6R-477dyupHjOvfLCoz5qV1BiorUb7CA3ub8Lw27ba64eSA80xGa761oaTFK5Gq_ErgtakWubWb0Wdk5-M-u/s1600-h/Library+-+0013.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidBdxLhXIo_f_hQCzhtlUDLHGl8ZJPtaTFw-BEscTWNxv-zyPWDNu2aAOR6R-477dyupHjOvfLCoz5qV1BiorUb7CA3ub8Lw27ba64eSA80xGa761oaTFK5Gq_ErgtakWubWb0Wdk5-M-u/s400/Library+-+0013.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5398490024972988370" border="0" /></a><br />The trees shed their leaves and they know they know they will be clothed again. Because He <span style="font-style: italic;">is</span> faithful.<br /><br />So, I will trust in Him.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm5et-T-GLtaX5Ct-Ln2RtG-S5jeKpFzwE0BaE4YTyC_G9HUUx0plD1wx-GFF4VC8d2nLhU56SuW7TtvimuY2PdVMCiG_HmcqxE47BFzvRtZ-ycL1jmPE9LEjwfRBJ8xeubxN5WzofzI9h/s1600-h/Library+-+0008.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm5et-T-GLtaX5Ct-Ln2RtG-S5jeKpFzwE0BaE4YTyC_G9HUUx0plD1wx-GFF4VC8d2nLhU56SuW7TtvimuY2PdVMCiG_HmcqxE47BFzvRtZ-ycL1jmPE9LEjwfRBJ8xeubxN5WzofzI9h/s400/Library+-+0008.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5398490019559750194" border="0" /></a><blockquote>This is my prayer in the desert<br />When all that's within me feels dry<br />This is my prayer in my hunger and need<br />My God is the God who provides<br /><br />This is my prayer in the harvest<br />When favor and providence flow<br />I know I'm filled to be emptied again<br />The seed I've received I must sow<br /><br />All of my life<br />In every season<br />You are still God<br />I have a reason to sing<br />I have a reason to worship</blockquote><span style="font-size:85%;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J15BpBs3Qk4">(Listen here: Dessert Song, Hillsong)</a></span>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-25290371124311476152009-10-20T13:37:00.000-07:002009-10-20T15:37:05.485-07:00His Song<div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;">"Show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely." Song of Solomon 2:14<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqrvEudrRVvbj4FXlhMoyioM2BPYwG8Myi_5no9-Kb8PZpCiT005I84RspfsMt7pAhLWQ3Ad93b99yR44weNfXsXA6NI2M1gghIZ92acTxpJ50G3FEz5M6C4N_cCzqunKA4tKBkB-L0gQ4/s1600-h/Scenic+-+096.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 284px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqrvEudrRVvbj4FXlhMoyioM2BPYwG8Myi_5no9-Kb8PZpCiT005I84RspfsMt7pAhLWQ3Ad93b99yR44weNfXsXA6NI2M1gghIZ92acTxpJ50G3FEz5M6C4N_cCzqunKA4tKBkB-L0gQ4/s400/Scenic+-+096.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394787472460033570" border="0" /></a> Stepping quietly into His presence, I can feel His breath tickle my ear, "<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2046:10&version=NIV"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Be still</span>.</a>"<br /><br />Lids drop, thoughts slow. Deep breath.<br /><br />"Hello, Lord."<br /><br />"<span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Hello, Beloved.</span>"<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh3xSSaG-4Oy4wepnMeUx0seJfgzhyphenhyphenFINTl3y6d2zfVuN5mqeV8JQzSRBv7d-lbD3ObHRJbP7zjPDUmZr2U2TEZINnQKWecg2j1j3jF2yGoCJs8l1GxzOngJAkdufVI8809dWyVgxFFCI8/s1600-h/Scenic+-+120.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 286px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh3xSSaG-4Oy4wepnMeUx0seJfgzhyphenhyphenFINTl3y6d2zfVuN5mqeV8JQzSRBv7d-lbD3ObHRJbP7zjPDUmZr2U2TEZINnQKWecg2j1j3jF2yGoCJs8l1GxzOngJAkdufVI8809dWyVgxFFCI8/s400/Scenic+-+120.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394787500233814802" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">I feel Him close; my heart races... then slows as He draws near. I know this time is <span style="font-style: italic;">sacred</span>, and so very, very needed. The peace that comes is overwhelming.<br /><br />I rest as <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Zephania%203:17&version=NIV">He sings His song</a> over me.<br /><blockquote>"<span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely." </span><span style="font-size:78%;">(Song of Solomon 2:14)</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes." </span><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span>(Song of Solomon 4:9)</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />"Find rest in Me alone. I am your salvation. I am your rock, your unshakable fortress." </span><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>(Psalm 62: 1&2)</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />"I am behind you and go before you. My hand is upon you. I surround you always. I created you fearfully and wonderfully. You are not hidden from me. I have ordained your days.</span>" <span style="font-size:78%;">(Psalm 139: 5, 13, 16)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"I take great delight in you. I will quiet you with my love. I will rejoice over you with my song." </span><span style="font-size:78%;">(Zephaniah 3:17)</span></blockquote><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaYrUUE8tC57cExn0FLjd-PLC_E5sx7CL9T5ZegXxVkfKakjIEEnJuB6g8iniUo588-VEVFycSqP26ssJZDhxvKWEUkEqlHdiw_voaGEmRafwuKmOFKjum4-sgOne3EPUgsNyOjeTfkkbT/s1600-h/Artsy+Fartsy+-+137.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaYrUUE8tC57cExn0FLjd-PLC_E5sx7CL9T5ZegXxVkfKakjIEEnJuB6g8iniUo588-VEVFycSqP26ssJZDhxvKWEUkEqlHdiw_voaGEmRafwuKmOFKjum4-sgOne3EPUgsNyOjeTfkkbT/s400/Artsy+Fartsy+-+137.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394787487537660114" border="0" /></a> His love is so real. Words true and life-giving. These moments, cherished. Precious. Sacred. Every blink, He knows. Every sigh, He understands. A heart full of wonder, once again about to burst.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">"You are beautiful. You are my treasure."</span><br /><br />His words, a treasure themselves. Buried deep. Kept in the secret place to always remember and hold dear.<br /><br />I don't want to lose this moment. This quiet presence.<br /><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRgxlikU4ihGOuT4vzRpGAYzFdqTUgKTz3RoT4L6oj07lX2CJQ9lMyP5IkzJLPUZQBF9MSbucAp8hBfhm3LqBOo8etD6tINGqb6cCJEvtJuTSaPsdlRjR1VaXVfAh0gKohzrDfOaOzpg3W/s1600-h/Scenic+-+130.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRgxlikU4ihGOuT4vzRpGAYzFdqTUgKTz3RoT4L6oj07lX2CJQ9lMyP5IkzJLPUZQBF9MSbucAp8hBfhm3LqBOo8etD6tINGqb6cCJEvtJuTSaPsdlRjR1VaXVfAh0gKohzrDfOaOzpg3W/s400/Scenic+-+130.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5394787480445143506" border="0" /></a><div style="text-align: justify;"><blockquote style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Your beauty surrounds me and I am overcome. </span><span style="font-size:100%;">Come, Lord, linger. <a href="http://www.metrolyrics.com/invade-lyrics-watermark.html">Invade, walk the halls of this house</a>. Holy Spirit, dwell here. Make this your home. My heart is set on you; my gaze is fixed on you. You are my desire, and I return to you, <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation%202:3-4&version=NIV">my first love</a>.<br /></span></blockquote></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-52823615408994800122009-09-30T16:00:00.000-07:002009-09-30T16:37:04.800-07:00Night Light"You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light..."<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxbZGFG45azj_kteoVAFWvbRD7NqWFdW5GI8ZHtYQUbVMxYX0E3_k8PCSoqZ_IgsxHzAaCkT2TBjYrQ52D4YpEAXSbKrhzpcW1IOUpkhxzrw4hB3VGrw5GFt5C-anppK3nKQ9DqZuH7b_q/s1600-h/Library+-+0001.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxbZGFG45azj_kteoVAFWvbRD7NqWFdW5GI8ZHtYQUbVMxYX0E3_k8PCSoqZ_IgsxHzAaCkT2TBjYrQ52D4YpEAXSbKrhzpcW1IOUpkhxzrw4hB3VGrw5GFt5C-anppK3nKQ9DqZuH7b_q/s400/Library+-+0001.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5387399604535699122" border="0" /></a><div style="text-align: justify;">Daddy was out of town so my little one and I slept at Nanny and Poppy's. When the moon was up, and eyes were droopy, we were getting ready to snuggle and snore together. As I turned the lights out, throwing the unfamiliar room into pitch black, my boy screamed, "Momma, where am I? I can't find me. Where did I go?"<br /><br />Tears fell, his frantic voice cracking as he struggled to understand why the darkness had caused him to disappear. Even my nearness and touch provided little comfort. Solace could only be found when a night light was produced.<br /><br />"I see me Momma. I right here and you right there." Big sigh. "Tank you for da light Momma. Now I can close my eyes."<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX9RMpTviqujtO2ZVtDt8rchs8IMuHJBxrCOlt1uFPa_eNgngolgnMWnkdmsiiJ9oOxqBeQm_KVxejEuk8D0tjf04q7v0v-C_S3B8oy2v-ntdvTUfIgcEIR5hZKUYBfdT_xO-XcG8TDhlM/s1600-h/Library+-+0008.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX9RMpTviqujtO2ZVtDt8rchs8IMuHJBxrCOlt1uFPa_eNgngolgnMWnkdmsiiJ9oOxqBeQm_KVxejEuk8D0tjf04q7v0v-C_S3B8oy2v-ntdvTUfIgcEIR5hZKUYBfdT_xO-XcG8TDhlM/s400/Library+-+0008.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5387399611253925106" border="0" /></a><blockquote>"You O Lord, keep my lamp burning;<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">my God turns my darkness into light</span>...<br /><br />As for God, his way is perfect;<br /> the word of the Lord is flawless.<br />He is a shield<br /> for all who take refuge in Him.<br />For who is God beside the Lord?<br /> And who is the Rock except our God?<br />It is God who arms me with strength<br /> and makes my way perfect.<br />He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;<br /> he enables me to stand on the heights.<br />He trains my hands for battle...<br /><br />You give me your shield of victory,<br /> and your right hand sustains me;<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">you stoop down to make me great</span>."<br /><br />Psalm 18: 28-36<br /></blockquote><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtvpIp1J9h6SCfpwz9Wj5EeqKz6xOYsgXdL-1brRi1Oo4B5BfsOVrYwnG7NQi4B1eN7pBZNAFiibulC8jDVfLTvx2fivooPLsyOKQZeOmra-rJe-Kg9HIKZk_B3I8TswSCz5ZGUu7pQpVQ/s1600-h/IMG_0009_2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 270px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtvpIp1J9h6SCfpwz9Wj5EeqKz6xOYsgXdL-1brRi1Oo4B5BfsOVrYwnG7NQi4B1eN7pBZNAFiibulC8jDVfLTvx2fivooPLsyOKQZeOmra-rJe-Kg9HIKZk_B3I8TswSCz5ZGUu7pQpVQ/s400/IMG_0009_2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5387405077655554946" border="0" /></a></div><blockquote><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Thank you, my Abba Father, for being my light in this night time. When darkness is overwhelming your Word is a constant lamp; a flame that cannot be snuffed out. And when my fears, questions, anger and doubt have weakened my pace, you stoop down to make me great. I am humbled by your affections. And in spite of the sorrow, I press on, following your light.</span><br /></div></blockquote>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-64408102476327217982009-09-26T16:44:00.000-07:002009-09-26T16:59:48.469-07:00Rest and Restorationby your still waters i rest<br />trusting in your faithfulness.<br />for your name you will make me whole;<br />you lift me above the pain<br />to the rock that is higher than i.<br /><br />you are good.<br />you are good.<br />you are good.<br /><br />your compassion is never ending,<br />you mercy overflows;<br />your love is bigger than the sorrow.<br />healing is poured over my soul<br />as you sing over me.<br /><br />i can hear your song.<br />i can feel your gaze.<br />i am not alone on this road;<br />your foot falls next to mine on this journey.<br /><br />hope is a declaration;<br />my hope is in you.<br />i declare your faithfulness.<br />i declare your glory.<br />i declare your goodness.<br /><br />you are good.<br /><br />YOU ARE.Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-13008053792463475092009-09-15T10:44:00.000-07:002009-09-15T11:00:45.731-07:00Mourning<div style="text-align: justify;">The quiet moments are the hardest. When my heart feels like it will burst and my mind wanders once again to that blank screen, that empty womb. I waited to see a tiny heart fluttering life. All I saw was stillness. All I saw was black.<br /><br />No baby. Just hormones and placenta, but no life. No heart. No tiny fingers to hold someday. No sweet lips and cheeks to kiss. No beautiful eyes to gaze into. Just nothingness.<br /><br />Then hours of waiting in the hospital. Misery. Then days of waiting for answers. Anxiousness. And now emptiness and normal life co-mingle. How?<br /><br />How do I go on when this ache is so deep and constant?<br /><br />How do I breathe when I choke on the raw emotion lodged in my chest?<br /><br />How do I find courage to hope again when the image burned in my minds eye is so bleak?<br /><br />I know I will find Hope in You, but I am so lost and shattered today. So empty and angry and filled with questions.<br /><br />I know You are God and You never change. I know Your love for me is greater than all the pain and bleakness. I know you are trustworthy, steadfast, faithful, kind. Right now I speak these things in faith.<br /><br />My head knows, but my heart aches with doubt.<br /></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-58536627981003443592009-06-22T11:12:00.001-07:002009-06-22T11:14:52.009-07:00AdriftLife has been busy. Busy like the homework teachers give when they need to fill time. Or reach a quota. Seems like a lot of life is filled with this sort of busy.<br /><br />In the midst of all this busy-ness I have allowed myself to drift from the safety of His shadow. Now I am struggling to get back.<br /><br />Can I just walk back in, or do I have to wait for an invitation?Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-7317065852907231062009-04-22T07:13:00.000-07:002009-04-22T07:25:05.146-07:00Sudsy Input Needed<div style="text-align: justify;">We are in the market for a new washer and dryer. Our new place does not have them and we have been debating going the used/Craigslist route or buying new.<br /><br />So, lovely bloggy friends, HELP!<br /><br />- What brand do you like?<br />- How big?<br />- Where to buy?<br />- Front or top loading?<br />- What bells and whistles are worth paying for and which can I go without?<br />- Is Energy Star worth it? Does the payout in the end really justify the hefty up front price tag?<br /><br />Also, one set we are looking at is made by <a href="http://www.amana.com/">Amana</a>. I have never heard of this particular brand before but consumer reports and customer reviews are rating them high. Anyone out there have any knowledge to impart?<br /><br />I need some beauty in the land of laundry as this is the task I dread the most. Help me find some laundry lovin'!!<br /></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-62067735898167314572009-04-20T06:37:00.000-07:002009-04-20T06:44:07.562-07:00CrazyWe move 1 week from today. My house should be declared a disaster area and the appraisal guy comes at 3 o'clock.<br /><br />To top this off I have an almost 2 year old teething 2 year molars and throwing himself head first into all that is the so called terrible 2's.<br /><br />Oh. Joy.<br /><br />I want a margarita and the beach.<br /><br />And a babysitter.Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-46023427629023894292009-04-13T11:50:00.000-07:002009-04-13T13:26:28.900-07:00The Firstborn<div style="text-align: justify;">Here's the thing, I'm a first born. Oldest of 3 kids and the only girl. I would say that my brothers and I all fit the typical birth order stereotypes pretty well. For the first half of my life I was content with being me; bossy, opinionated, organized, detailed, and so on.<br /><br />As I got older I realized that some of the traits are not so much fun to have. Group assignments always found me stuck with the majority of the work because everyone knew I was good to get it done. Friends shied away from talking to me because my opinion was spoken with force instead of love. Work found me tackling the sorts of projects no one else wanted to do because I could solve the problem and figure out the details.<br /><br />Internally, I longed to be the cheerleader. The popular girl. The homecoming queen. (Though in the spirit of full disclosure I was a homecoming princess, but I swear it was a fluke.) :)<br /><br />As I am now a bit older, and hopefully wiser, I am learning the fine art of balance. Oh, it's so hard! But it is getting easier.<br /><br />------------------------<br /><br />This is a summary of what I learned on my internet "vacation"...<br /><br />I don't have to be the first born anymore.<br /><br />Jesus is the first born and He's got all the bases covered for me. I don't have to do more than what's in front of me at this very moment. And I don't have to "look good" for anyone but Him.<br /><br />Can I get an Amen?!?!<br /></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-35040640811791717082009-02-20T12:11:00.000-08:002009-04-13T13:26:28.900-07:00Empty Vessel<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIhXJUz_Q5gygQ5K2O-Y2hnUR6Uv5UUglGfDMLZ00KXaBpRjZm1_8Msr9b-_FEaCvNZEQGU6CTqNVlolBD2gKr0nBlTOiX1nG3ilGpjuc5UZSqF9R6ZQh5JKNJcwZxudEi9g_-K18yBGMe/s1600-h/Artsy+Fartsy+-+091.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIhXJUz_Q5gygQ5K2O-Y2hnUR6Uv5UUglGfDMLZ00KXaBpRjZm1_8Msr9b-_FEaCvNZEQGU6CTqNVlolBD2gKr0nBlTOiX1nG3ilGpjuc5UZSqF9R6ZQh5JKNJcwZxudEi9g_-K18yBGMe/s400/Artsy+Fartsy+-+091.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5304974508853685826" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: justify;">So, I am less than a week away from <a href="http://jonathanandcasey.blogspot.com/2009/02/reality.html">giving up the internet for 40 days</a>. Ugh! In the interest of full disclosure-- I am dreading it! This week I've been paying attention to when I log on to the internet and, well, let's just say it's staggering how much I rely on the World Wide Web.<br /><br />** Need a recipe? Just jump on to <a href="http://www.blogger.com/allrecipes.com">Allrecipes.com</a> and problem solved.<br /><br />** Weird, unexplainable stomach cramp? Why, <a href="http://www.blogger.com/webmd.com">WebMD.com</a> has the answer!<br /><br />** Has the title of a book you read in 5th grade slipped your mind? Good thing <a href="http://www.blogger.com/amazon.com">Amazon.com</a> knows <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Maniac-Magee-Jerry-Spinelli/dp/0316809063/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235079465&sr=8-1">which one it is</a>.<br /><br />** Looking for the latest theory on your <a href="http://abc.go.com/primetime/lost/index?pn=index">favorite TV show</a>? Well, <a href="http://www.ew.com/ew/package/0,,1550612,00.html">take</a> <a href="http://www.lostblog.net/">your</a> <a href="http://www.oceanicflight815.com/index.html?b=1">pick</a>.<br /><br />Um, yeah, I need a break.<br /><br />............<br /><br />I want things to be different in my life and I feel as though I have lost a certain intimacy I once had with Him. That is what this season is all about for me. Not just a fast, which feels so… oh, I don’t know… obligatory. Rather I want this to be an offering. An act of worship. An empty vessel. (Yes, I know that’s what a fast is, but it’s all about how the wording plays out in my head.)<br /><br />Please know that I am not telling you about this to make myself look good to you. I have mentioned it for 3 reason’s; 1) I want you to know where I’ve gone when I disappear for a while; 2) Maybe, maybe, I will inspire someone else in my journey; 3) Accountability.<br /><br />I know that several have asked me to journal during this time and I am still thinking about it. Sunday's are not counted in the 40 days of fasting, they are seen as a celebratory time. So, I might post an update or two on a Sunday. I'll wait and see how it feels.<br /><br />Either way, I will journal as I go, and when the time is over I will share with you what I can. (As a side note-- I will still be checking/sending email as that was not a part of what I am "offering" up. I can check it without logging on and email is a vital source of communication in our household.)<br /><br />Is anyone else out there making an offering for Lent?<br /><br />(Oh by the way, Lent starts next Wednesday, Ash Wednesday, and goes until Easter.)<br /></div></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-70825473315005017952009-02-12T11:19:00.000-08:002009-04-13T13:35:49.521-07:00Reality<div style="text-align: justify;">I was just reading <a href="http://www.lifeat7000feet.com/">Meredith's</a> blog and <a href="http://www.lifeat7000feet.com/2009/02/not-so-light-and-happy.html">she posted on a topic</a> that has been weighing on my heart lately. I am going to piggy back off of her topic with some of my own thoughts....<br /><br />I would like to think that I have been pretty transparent on this blog. Actually, I think I am more real here than I am in real life sometimes. I find it easier to share the ugly parts with people who I only sort of know. Yet, in truth, I think y'all probably know me best.<br /><br />...............<br /><br />For about a year I had a little reminder written in lipstick on my bedroom mirror. Every time I put on makeup, checked an outfit, or fluffed my hair this little note was staring back at me. Day after day I would read it aloud and repeat it over and over, hoping that it would sink into my heart and free me from my perfectionism.<br /><br />"I am who I am."<br /><br />It didn't help. I windexed it off.<br /><br />Here's the thing, I am ugly. I am messy. I am loud, and controlling, and I do not have all my sh*t together. (And I cuss!) I struggle with anxiety and depression. I HATE gloomy weather. I do not read my bible every day. I do not shower every day. Sometimes I only wash my hair once a week! (Heaven forbid!) I am overweight. I think judgmental thoughts. I gossip. I lie, to myself mostly, but I do lie. I envy, I have unrighteous anger.<br /><br />And sometimes, okay A LOT of times, I do all those things (and more) in one day!<br /><br />But that's just me. It's who I am and I have no problem admitting the bad stuff.<br /><br />A few days ago I was looking through some old photos. I came across a series of pictures of myself that I had not seen in a long time. I stared for a long time, looking at each photo thoroughly, and I realized something.<br /><br />I am beautiful.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyasFYvtS1T20togE9CReytdpiIV52dp8GFIXOCimTpV4e70JmYMbqGFlIl8V9_N5LABsk9YsIVeGHJvZIal19He8V_cRGiTlMxA_SzT6E47-6VpkB4r8WiTM2isR3wNs2GUbCMCnToEEJ/s1600-h/Library+-+109.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyasFYvtS1T20togE9CReytdpiIV52dp8GFIXOCimTpV4e70JmYMbqGFlIl8V9_N5LABsk9YsIVeGHJvZIal19He8V_cRGiTlMxA_SzT6E47-6VpkB4r8WiTM2isR3wNs2GUbCMCnToEEJ/s320/Library+-+109.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301999642633936738" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Why is it so hard to admit the good stuff?<br /><br />...............<br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lent">Lent</a> is coming up and I've been thinking about what I am going to "give up". I can barely even type the words, but I think I am going to give up the Internet. Blogs, Facebook, Youtube, People.com, Craigslist, All Recipes (yikes!), etc. All of it. For 40 days.<br /><br />I'm getting all sweaty just thinking about it.<br /><br />But here's the truth- the internet is just one more hurdle in my struggle to admit the good stuff. It's hard to read other blogs and think that everyone else has their sh*t together when mine has just hit the fan. I can't help but compare myself to the rest of the good mommy bloggers out there.<br /><br />And honestly, this thing just sucks up my time. It is a distraction from making the changes in my "real" life that I need to make. I want to live authentically. Not just blog it, but<span style="font-style: italic;"> live</span> it.<br /><br />So, that's what I am going to do. I'm gonna throw myself at the Lords feet and walk out my life, authentically, and as naked as figuratively possible.<br /><br />And when I come back, if I come back, maybe I'll blog about it. ;)<br /></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-38121366626029371562009-01-22T12:54:00.000-08:002009-04-13T13:32:48.386-07:00Why I Love My Husband: Reason #756,859<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlLPiWyPjPp8kl2BH5MTY6tiB_AVcrsC0kmVQ4qfTCXET1edqMMxaJ7r-mx0QaUpdD8bdTOfVU74FtN48PXQm6HVpFuByCncPa4KW21LXP3wuusBCQ5S3AVBdyR7F7T4RCQFzO1YBO8hQB/s1600-h/IMG_2619.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlLPiWyPjPp8kl2BH5MTY6tiB_AVcrsC0kmVQ4qfTCXET1edqMMxaJ7r-mx0QaUpdD8bdTOfVU74FtN48PXQm6HVpFuByCncPa4KW21LXP3wuusBCQ5S3AVBdyR7F7T4RCQFzO1YBO8hQB/s320/IMG_2619.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5294227554015347314" border="0" /></a><br /><br />After an especially long and hectic afternoon, he offers to bring something home for dinner so I don't have to cook. And, as an added bonus he plans on taking the toddler out for a while so I can let silence tickle my ear drums.<br /><br />Ah, the luxury.<br /><br />He's my hero.Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-19426496586978646252009-01-14T06:52:00.000-08:002009-04-13T13:36:17.284-07:00Exercise<div style="text-align: justify;">Me- Start the Winsor Pilate's 20 minute Burn work out DVD.<br /><br />Jaron- Get head stuck behind furniture. Scream<br /><br />Me- Pause DVD to help Jaron get unstuck. Comfort screaming toddler.<br /><br />Jaron- Get head stuck behind furniture... again. Scream... again.<br /><br />Me- Pause DVD to help Jaron get unstuck... again. Comfort screaming toddler... again.<br /><br />Jaron- Disappear after a few minutes of "behaving".<br /><br />Me- Pause the DVD after "hearing" silence for too long. Discover Jaron coloring daddy's pillow with a blue high-liter. Disciple toddler.<br /><br />Jaron- Throw tantrum before the word "No" even hits Mommy's lips.<br /><br />Me- Choose not to battle fit. Ignore fit. Clean up mess.<br /><br />Jaron- Mad at lack of attention. Escape while Mommy's distracted. Find more trouble to get into.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Me- Back to finish workout. Can't find remote to un-pause DVD. Look to Jaron.<br /><br />Jaron- Smile mischievously at Mommy's stern look. Offer no help.<br /><br />Me- Tear house apart looking for remote while trying to remain calm. Repeating mantra, "Do not loose your temper at helpless toddler".<br /><br />Jaron- Start giggling. Offer no help.<br /><br />Me- Find remote hidden in empty box in Jaron's room. Finish 20 minute workout DVD in 45 minutes. Put toddler down for nap. Put self down for nap.<br /></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIPEArW6I0lPllzUUbJRyc4pnb2uRMIavPziCTDRmQ-gWo_eEqbp8dXsjNNcg1Byy42ELod453ezrVKsWrv9Hx0UracWpP5qkWSa0bRTu8OhFt3xuVNJoBjfpW32BoGsbBO_sEgetCXx3h/s1600-h/Library+-+5275.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIPEArW6I0lPllzUUbJRyc4pnb2uRMIavPziCTDRmQ-gWo_eEqbp8dXsjNNcg1Byy42ELod453ezrVKsWrv9Hx0UracWpP5qkWSa0bRTu8OhFt3xuVNJoBjfpW32BoGsbBO_sEgetCXx3h/s320/Library+-+5275.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5291179250886451106" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">"Who me?"</span></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-17015424797620101842009-01-05T04:05:00.000-08:002009-04-13T13:26:28.901-07:00Embers, revisited<div style="text-align: justify;">This story starts <a href="http://jonathanandcasey.blogspot.com/2008/12/embers.html">a few posts</a> ago, and it doesn't end with today's post. I think this is just the journey the Lord has me on right now. I can't say that I am totally thrilled about it, however I do think I am beginning to understand what it's all about.<br /><br />Psalm 18 has been a bit of a challenge for me. I guess it has revealed in my heart some trust issues. Imagine that? A female with trust issues!? ;)<br /><br />The psalm talks a lot about how the Lord will be my support and my shield. That he will enable me to stand and face my enemy. That he will, "stoop down to make me great" (vs 35).<br /><br />Those are hard phrases for me, though the stooping down part gives me chills. I am lowly and he is lofty, yet he loves me. I am dark and he is light, yet he loves me. He is clean and holy and pure and because of his sacrifice I am too.<br /><br />I guess it's the sacrifice part that is sometimes hard to accept. Does anyone else have a hard time with that? As a mom, as a perfectionist and someone who analyzes EVERYTHING, I find it very difficult to accept help. While studying <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2018&version=31">this psalm</a> I keep coming back to that.<br /><br />I have the head knowledge of all this, but I guess sometimes my heart gets tripped up on pride.<br /><br />Recently I read a corresponding passage (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2091;&version=31;">Psalm 91</a>) that led to a bit of a breakthrough. Look at this....<br /><br />"<span style="font-style: italic;">Because he loves me</span>" says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and <span style="font-style: italic;">honor</span> him." (emphasis mine)<br /><br />Simply because I love him, he will not only rescue me, but he will <span style="font-style: italic;">honor</span> me.<br /><br />Wow. Does that hit you like it hit me? I hope so. I hope the deepth of that sinks into you today. All you have to-- ALL I HAVE TO DO-- is acknowlede his name and call to him. Doesn't mean my problem will *poof* go away, but it does mean that someone far greater than me is on the job.<br /><br />The Message bible says it so awesomely... "From his palace he hears my call; my cry brings me right into his presence- a private audience!" (Pslalm 18:6)<br /><br />How cool is that?<br /><br />If you are in need of help, or strength; or if you feel like your enemies [enemies can also be things like depression, anxiety, bitterness, unforgiveness, etc] are closing in an all sides then I encourage you to read <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2018;&version=31;">Psalm 18</a> and <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2091;&version=31;">Psalm 91</a> today.<br /><br />And seriously, isn't it just breath taking that he stoops down to make us great???<br /></div>Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-67786764849634173882009-01-02T20:18:00.000-08:002009-04-13T13:36:17.284-07:00And A Happy Holidays To You...Being sick is the pits.<br /><br />Taking care of a sick toddler is sad.<br /><br />Having a sick husband is MISERABLE.<br /><br />All of the above at the same time, during Christmas vacation, cannot be described in words I wish to publish on the blog. Use your imagination.<br /><br />I'm going to bed.Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1782125574785067669.post-55545807378956703492008-12-17T08:34:00.000-08:002009-04-13T13:36:17.284-07:00A Boy's Winter Wonderland<div style="text-align: justify;">Well, it's official. This beach lovin' family has a snow lover amongst us. To be honest and completely fair, he LOVES just about everything that has to do with outside. During our beach vacation he adored the sand (okay, so he adored eating the sand, but still...).<br /><br />Anyway, back to my point. My Jaron boy was ecstatic this morning to wake up to snow, snow and more snow. He has pretty much lived at our window all morning long.<br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9AJBeYFz4QNOMA56o-FpmAsPERQOG40y2MzoENzRmPT0Zs0j3gYVy-bZ367n9gv2lSvT_RNk_KLFZUQpFlsELQXEzn7WS0QNcDM1B2lt0LotY2A7hvnAsF2KXGGEoFJ4_V1r0NL_s6aK-/s1600-h/Library+-+5652.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9AJBeYFz4QNOMA56o-FpmAsPERQOG40y2MzoENzRmPT0Zs0j3gYVy-bZ367n9gv2lSvT_RNk_KLFZUQpFlsELQXEzn7WS0QNcDM1B2lt0LotY2A7hvnAsF2KXGGEoFJ4_V1r0NL_s6aK-/s400/Library+-+5652.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280800227039497186" border="0" /></a><br />He even insisted on eating his snack at the window. Because, you know, he wouldn't want to miss a single second of watching that snow fall.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVoJXpnHK-gDrhy7P1ek8psQBLxudie8cKTrS7HqlPJc5AnB5ow7s-3r8LUQHpu4xigp_M3kafoe65GBBBCgG9CW-HJ9mJ8izbRX4IucGwMWz9So03-VxSjXO2jPb-qsRkVyIoCWRxqujp/s1600-h/Library+-+5655.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVoJXpnHK-gDrhy7P1ek8psQBLxudie8cKTrS7HqlPJc5AnB5ow7s-3r8LUQHpu4xigp_M3kafoe65GBBBCgG9CW-HJ9mJ8izbRX4IucGwMWz9So03-VxSjXO2jPb-qsRkVyIoCWRxqujp/s400/Library+-+5655.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280800231065652066" border="0" /></a><br />The bonus that comes with the snow are all the snow plows, or "no now's" as he calls them. Every time one goes by he yells for me to come look.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUSV-HXPNsWBSuKRi1xY9_HlreVn_rSw3tH0leNpxKszsCXxQcPibzupX7trJO8btPI1JoqSlBrz80WoRFeuRtX_58PwfT1f0TkIKMgVO5ubjk92XuVttT44rqlENaC5P03jKXIrqrg6OV/s1600-h/Library+-+5661.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 290px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUSV-HXPNsWBSuKRi1xY9_HlreVn_rSw3tH0leNpxKszsCXxQcPibzupX7trJO8btPI1JoqSlBrz80WoRFeuRtX_58PwfT1f0TkIKMgVO5ubjk92XuVttT44rqlENaC5P03jKXIrqrg6OV/s400/Library+-+5661.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280800228089175650" border="0" /></a><br />And this, well this is his big, happy smiling face. I know, it's a bit cranky looking, but I promise, whenever I ask him to smile his happy smile, this is what I get.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh36Aea6tiiAbVV5sCYlf4D_tvLr6wq_ciTH_yI0n0YfUkoGn9GgZC3jRoWmZzy9VzOu3eQhYEtLawEqjzTOc4WTYvdJmYC6SHf9TxtykV_KHicL5MwdTZ43zDlvYjvWk_jqo1IxyAqCdrp/s1600-h/Library+-+5650.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 290px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh36Aea6tiiAbVV5sCYlf4D_tvLr6wq_ciTH_yI0n0YfUkoGn9GgZC3jRoWmZzy9VzOu3eQhYEtLawEqjzTOc4WTYvdJmYC6SHf9TxtykV_KHicL5MwdTZ43zDlvYjvWk_jqo1IxyAqCdrp/s400/Library+-+5650.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280800233586041970" border="0" /></a><br />I think his excitement might make a snow lover out of me yet!Caseyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17480100522645683741noreply@blogger.com0