Life has been busy. Busy like the homework teachers give when they need to fill time. Or reach a quota. Seems like a lot of life is filled with this sort of busy.
In the midst of all this busy-ness I have allowed myself to drift from the safety of His shadow. Now I am struggling to get back.
Can I just walk back in, or do I have to wait for an invitation?
We are in the market for a new washer and dryer. Our new place does not have them and we have been debating going the used/Craigslist route or buying new.
So, lovely bloggy friends, HELP!
- What brand do you like?
- How big?
- Where to buy?
- Front or top loading?
- What bells and whistles are worth paying for and which can I go without?
- Is Energy Star worth it? Does the payout in the end really justify the hefty up front price tag?
Also, one set we are looking at is made by Amana. I have never heard of this particular brand before but consumer reports and customer reviews are rating them high. Anyone out there have any knowledge to impart?
I need some beauty in the land of laundry as this is the task I dread the most. Help me find some laundry lovin'!!
So, lovely bloggy friends, HELP!
- What brand do you like?
- How big?
- Where to buy?
- Front or top loading?
- What bells and whistles are worth paying for and which can I go without?
- Is Energy Star worth it? Does the payout in the end really justify the hefty up front price tag?
Also, one set we are looking at is made by Amana. I have never heard of this particular brand before but consumer reports and customer reviews are rating them high. Anyone out there have any knowledge to impart?
I need some beauty in the land of laundry as this is the task I dread the most. Help me find some laundry lovin'!!
We move 1 week from today. My house should be declared a disaster area and the appraisal guy comes at 3 o'clock.
To top this off I have an almost 2 year old teething 2 year molars and throwing himself head first into all that is the so called terrible 2's.
Oh. Joy.
I want a margarita and the beach.
And a babysitter.
Here's the thing, I'm a first born. Oldest of 3 kids and the only girl. I would say that my brothers and I all fit the typical birth order stereotypes pretty well. For the first half of my life I was content with being me; bossy, opinionated, organized, detailed, and so on.
As I got older I realized that some of the traits are not so much fun to have. Group assignments always found me stuck with the majority of the work because everyone knew I was good to get it done. Friends shied away from talking to me because my opinion was spoken with force instead of love. Work found me tackling the sorts of projects no one else wanted to do because I could solve the problem and figure out the details.
Internally, I longed to be the cheerleader. The popular girl. The homecoming queen. (Though in the spirit of full disclosure I was a homecoming princess, but I swear it was a fluke.) :)
As I am now a bit older, and hopefully wiser, I am learning the fine art of balance. Oh, it's so hard! But it is getting easier.
------------------------
This is a summary of what I learned on my internet "vacation"...
I don't have to be the first born anymore.
Jesus is the first born and He's got all the bases covered for me. I don't have to do more than what's in front of me at this very moment. And I don't have to "look good" for anyone but Him.
Can I get an Amen?!?!
As I got older I realized that some of the traits are not so much fun to have. Group assignments always found me stuck with the majority of the work because everyone knew I was good to get it done. Friends shied away from talking to me because my opinion was spoken with force instead of love. Work found me tackling the sorts of projects no one else wanted to do because I could solve the problem and figure out the details.
Internally, I longed to be the cheerleader. The popular girl. The homecoming queen. (Though in the spirit of full disclosure I was a homecoming princess, but I swear it was a fluke.) :)
As I am now a bit older, and hopefully wiser, I am learning the fine art of balance. Oh, it's so hard! But it is getting easier.
------------------------
This is a summary of what I learned on my internet "vacation"...
I don't have to be the first born anymore.
Jesus is the first born and He's got all the bases covered for me. I don't have to do more than what's in front of me at this very moment. And I don't have to "look good" for anyone but Him.
Can I get an Amen?!?!
So, I am less than a week away from giving up the internet for 40 days. Ugh! In the interest of full disclosure-- I am dreading it! This week I've been paying attention to when I log on to the internet and, well, let's just say it's staggering how much I rely on the World Wide Web.
** Need a recipe? Just jump on to Allrecipes.com and problem solved.
** Weird, unexplainable stomach cramp? Why, WebMD.com has the answer!
** Has the title of a book you read in 5th grade slipped your mind? Good thing Amazon.com knows which one it is.
** Looking for the latest theory on your favorite TV show? Well, take your pick.
Um, yeah, I need a break.
............
I want things to be different in my life and I feel as though I have lost a certain intimacy I once had with Him. That is what this season is all about for me. Not just a fast, which feels so… oh, I don’t know… obligatory. Rather I want this to be an offering. An act of worship. An empty vessel. (Yes, I know that’s what a fast is, but it’s all about how the wording plays out in my head.)
Please know that I am not telling you about this to make myself look good to you. I have mentioned it for 3 reason’s; 1) I want you to know where I’ve gone when I disappear for a while; 2) Maybe, maybe, I will inspire someone else in my journey; 3) Accountability.
I know that several have asked me to journal during this time and I am still thinking about it. Sunday's are not counted in the 40 days of fasting, they are seen as a celebratory time. So, I might post an update or two on a Sunday. I'll wait and see how it feels.
Either way, I will journal as I go, and when the time is over I will share with you what I can. (As a side note-- I will still be checking/sending email as that was not a part of what I am "offering" up. I can check it without logging on and email is a vital source of communication in our household.)
Is anyone else out there making an offering for Lent?
(Oh by the way, Lent starts next Wednesday, Ash Wednesday, and goes until Easter.)
** Need a recipe? Just jump on to Allrecipes.com and problem solved.
** Weird, unexplainable stomach cramp? Why, WebMD.com has the answer!
** Has the title of a book you read in 5th grade slipped your mind? Good thing Amazon.com knows which one it is.
** Looking for the latest theory on your favorite TV show? Well, take your pick.
Um, yeah, I need a break.
............
I want things to be different in my life and I feel as though I have lost a certain intimacy I once had with Him. That is what this season is all about for me. Not just a fast, which feels so… oh, I don’t know… obligatory. Rather I want this to be an offering. An act of worship. An empty vessel. (Yes, I know that’s what a fast is, but it’s all about how the wording plays out in my head.)
Please know that I am not telling you about this to make myself look good to you. I have mentioned it for 3 reason’s; 1) I want you to know where I’ve gone when I disappear for a while; 2) Maybe, maybe, I will inspire someone else in my journey; 3) Accountability.
I know that several have asked me to journal during this time and I am still thinking about it. Sunday's are not counted in the 40 days of fasting, they are seen as a celebratory time. So, I might post an update or two on a Sunday. I'll wait and see how it feels.
Either way, I will journal as I go, and when the time is over I will share with you what I can. (As a side note-- I will still be checking/sending email as that was not a part of what I am "offering" up. I can check it without logging on and email is a vital source of communication in our household.)
Is anyone else out there making an offering for Lent?
(Oh by the way, Lent starts next Wednesday, Ash Wednesday, and goes until Easter.)
I was just reading Meredith's blog and she posted on a topic that has been weighing on my heart lately. I am going to piggy back off of her topic with some of my own thoughts....
I would like to think that I have been pretty transparent on this blog. Actually, I think I am more real here than I am in real life sometimes. I find it easier to share the ugly parts with people who I only sort of know. Yet, in truth, I think y'all probably know me best.
...............
For about a year I had a little reminder written in lipstick on my bedroom mirror. Every time I put on makeup, checked an outfit, or fluffed my hair this little note was staring back at me. Day after day I would read it aloud and repeat it over and over, hoping that it would sink into my heart and free me from my perfectionism.
"I am who I am."
It didn't help. I windexed it off.
Here's the thing, I am ugly. I am messy. I am loud, and controlling, and I do not have all my sh*t together. (And I cuss!) I struggle with anxiety and depression. I HATE gloomy weather. I do not read my bible every day. I do not shower every day. Sometimes I only wash my hair once a week! (Heaven forbid!) I am overweight. I think judgmental thoughts. I gossip. I lie, to myself mostly, but I do lie. I envy, I have unrighteous anger.
And sometimes, okay A LOT of times, I do all those things (and more) in one day!
But that's just me. It's who I am and I have no problem admitting the bad stuff.
A few days ago I was looking through some old photos. I came across a series of pictures of myself that I had not seen in a long time. I stared for a long time, looking at each photo thoroughly, and I realized something.
I am beautiful.
I would like to think that I have been pretty transparent on this blog. Actually, I think I am more real here than I am in real life sometimes. I find it easier to share the ugly parts with people who I only sort of know. Yet, in truth, I think y'all probably know me best.
...............
For about a year I had a little reminder written in lipstick on my bedroom mirror. Every time I put on makeup, checked an outfit, or fluffed my hair this little note was staring back at me. Day after day I would read it aloud and repeat it over and over, hoping that it would sink into my heart and free me from my perfectionism.
"I am who I am."
It didn't help. I windexed it off.
Here's the thing, I am ugly. I am messy. I am loud, and controlling, and I do not have all my sh*t together. (And I cuss!) I struggle with anxiety and depression. I HATE gloomy weather. I do not read my bible every day. I do not shower every day. Sometimes I only wash my hair once a week! (Heaven forbid!) I am overweight. I think judgmental thoughts. I gossip. I lie, to myself mostly, but I do lie. I envy, I have unrighteous anger.
And sometimes, okay A LOT of times, I do all those things (and more) in one day!
But that's just me. It's who I am and I have no problem admitting the bad stuff.
A few days ago I was looking through some old photos. I came across a series of pictures of myself that I had not seen in a long time. I stared for a long time, looking at each photo thoroughly, and I realized something.
I am beautiful.
Why is it so hard to admit the good stuff?
...............
Lent is coming up and I've been thinking about what I am going to "give up". I can barely even type the words, but I think I am going to give up the Internet. Blogs, Facebook, Youtube, People.com, Craigslist, All Recipes (yikes!), etc. All of it. For 40 days.
I'm getting all sweaty just thinking about it.
But here's the truth- the internet is just one more hurdle in my struggle to admit the good stuff. It's hard to read other blogs and think that everyone else has their sh*t together when mine has just hit the fan. I can't help but compare myself to the rest of the good mommy bloggers out there.
And honestly, this thing just sucks up my time. It is a distraction from making the changes in my "real" life that I need to make. I want to live authentically. Not just blog it, but live it.
So, that's what I am going to do. I'm gonna throw myself at the Lords feet and walk out my life, authentically, and as naked as figuratively possible.
And when I come back, if I come back, maybe I'll blog about it. ;)
...............
Lent is coming up and I've been thinking about what I am going to "give up". I can barely even type the words, but I think I am going to give up the Internet. Blogs, Facebook, Youtube, People.com, Craigslist, All Recipes (yikes!), etc. All of it. For 40 days.
I'm getting all sweaty just thinking about it.
But here's the truth- the internet is just one more hurdle in my struggle to admit the good stuff. It's hard to read other blogs and think that everyone else has their sh*t together when mine has just hit the fan. I can't help but compare myself to the rest of the good mommy bloggers out there.
And honestly, this thing just sucks up my time. It is a distraction from making the changes in my "real" life that I need to make. I want to live authentically. Not just blog it, but live it.
So, that's what I am going to do. I'm gonna throw myself at the Lords feet and walk out my life, authentically, and as naked as figuratively possible.
And when I come back, if I come back, maybe I'll blog about it. ;)
After an especially long and hectic afternoon, he offers to bring something home for dinner so I don't have to cook. And, as an added bonus he plans on taking the toddler out for a while so I can let silence tickle my ear drums.
Ah, the luxury.
He's my hero.
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About
- Casey
- I am a lover of: God... my sexy husband... 3 of the cutest kiddos in the world... deep friendships... a good book... music that moves me... the beach... sunshine... cooking... and laughter.
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