A Little Innocence Lost

So, play date at the library this morning. Met a couple girlfriends (See, I'm making progress in the friendship department ! Yay!) and their kiddos in the children section. I don't know if y'alls libraries are like this, but ours has this big area with toys and puppets for the kids to play with. Lots of kids running around and having fun. Great time for mom's to chat and have some "bonding" time. :)

Anyway, kids are playing and running around everywhere. Jaron wanders up to this other little boy about his size. I am watching from a distance as he approaches and I can tell that he really wants this little boy to play with him. Instead of playing, when Jaron gets up close, this little boy grabs Jaron's face on both sides and scratches him!

Jaron's eyes welled up with tears, and he got a big boo-boo lip and was about to cry. Then he reared his arms back and shoved that little boy to his butt!! I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry! Obviously, I ran over to him and just then the other mom get's there. Of course she's bit perturbed b/c all she saw was Jaron pushing her son and not what her son did to Jaron.

Anyway, I made Jaron apologize for acting out of anger, but inside I was SO proud of my boy for defending himself. We are not a "just turn the other cheek" kind of family. We do not want to raise a bully and will not tolerate Jaron being an antagonist (like that little boy was) but we do want Jaron to defend himself when necessary.

Poor Jaron has a horrible scratch on his face and on the cornea (white part) of his eye. But the hardest part is that Jaron now knows that it's possible to hurt people like that. I'm sad that he had to learn that lesson at such a young age. I know I can't protect him forever, but I guess I was hoping it would be another year or so before he saw someone acting aggressively towards him.

And I have to be honest, I am bit mad at myself for not saying something more to the other mom. She has no clue that her kid scratched Jaron's face. I should have spoken up more and I'm sad that Jaron didn't see me defending him better than I did. I with I could redo the conversation I had with her.

I guess Jaron and I both learned something from this situation today.

On Friendships and Being Shy

In my head I am really this outgoing, gregarious person. I make good conversation with witty remarks always on the tip of my tongue. I am selfless and encouraging and always smiling.

In reality I think I am more like a hermit. A quiet, wallflower is more accurate. (Except when I am with my family, then I more closely resemble those traits I mentioned above.) This shyness is something I really dislike about myself, honestly. I wish that I could make friends more easily. I wish that I wasn't so darn weary about getting myself out there and meeting other moms.

But, ugh, the thought of having to go through that whole "who are you, where have you been, what do you like" phase just makes me sick to my stomach.

I have been working really hard at some friendships lately. Not trying too hard, but working hard. (And yes, there is a difference between trying too hard and working hard at something.) I feel like I am beginning to see some changes happening. Not in the others I am spending time with, but in me. I feel like the more I focus on being in the moment the more myself I am able to be.

The me I want to be, anyways.

I am happy with many of my character traits. And I do realize that God made us all with a special uniqueness that makes us, us. But I also recognize that there are things in me that need to change. I cannot live my life without companionship. My husband is great and all, but I can only talk for so long about cooking and decorating before his eyes glaze over! :)

I will tell you one thing that I love about myself though-- I love that I am a loyal friend. My parents taught me a lot about being loyal and it is something that has always stuck with me. I will defend my friends to the end and stick by through thick and thin. I think it's one of my best features, if I do say so myself! :)

Heaven knows that we can stand to talk about the good things since I'm sure we all obsess over the bad way too much! :) So, let's all get a little egotistical today-- what's the best thing about you?? What do you love most about yourself?

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Casey
I am a lover of: God... my sexy husband... 3 of the cutest kiddos in the world... deep friendships... a good book... music that moves me... the beach... sunshine... cooking... and laughter.
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