During dinner, on my birthday, Jonathan asked me what I want to accomplish in this next year of my life. All day long I had been pondering the same sort of question. My dad started the train of thought by emailing me the following:
You’ve got a lot of life lessons and experience under your belt, but so much of your life ahead to go out and tackle. So, go tackle it. Have a fun time being 25. Make the most of it. Keep making great memories. Look for the adventures along the way. You’ve got a lot going for you. Enjoy it.It was funny that my dad should mention looking for adventures. Lately I have been craving a "bear hunt". By that I mean something a little wild and crazy and hard to get, but oh-so rewarding in the end. Something that builds character. I'm not begging on hardships in order to come by character through suffering and perseverance (Romans 5: 3&4). Though should the Lord decide to take that route, then so be it. I'm just looking for... well, John Elderege says it perfectly in his book, The Sacred Romance...
"Indeed, if we listen, a Sacred Romance call to us through our heart every moment of our lives. It whispers to us on the wind, invites us through the laughter of good friends, reaches out to us through the touch of someone we love. We've heard it in our favorite music...been drawn to it while watching the shimmer of the sunset on the ocean. Something calls to us... and rouses an inconsolable longing deep within our heart, wakening in us a yearning for intimacy, beauty and adventure. When I got home from work I saw a card from my mother-in-law sitting on the kitchen counter. In the card she explains [I am paraphrasing here] that she had been praying for me in the early morning and felt that God was saying that this year would mark the beginning of a double blessing for me. Jonathan reads the card and quietly prays, "Lord, please no twins"! I read the card and my heart leaps with in me.
This longing is the most powerful part of any human personality. It fuels our search for meaning, for wholeness, for a sense of being truly alive. However we may describe this deep desire, it is the most important thing about us, our heart of hearts, the passion of our life."
Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:24 to run the race in such a way as to get the prize. I have come to the realization that I have been walking for the majority of this race, and sometimes I've even taken a seat on the sidelines to just watch. My dad talked a while back about going through a spiritual boot camp. Paul alludes to that in verse 25 of the same passage saying, "Everyone who competes in the game goes into strict training..." Like the Refiners fire, producing character, producing a woman in me who is gracious and life giving in encouragement.
I know I should tie up all the loose ends I've been rambling about, but the truth is, I don't know how to. All these things have been swirling around in my heart for a few days now. Somehow they are all connected.
To answer Jonathan's question I simply said I desired to be closer to God. That about sums it all up I guess. Looking for an adventure, running the race, double blessings, and spiritual boot camp. I want to be a woman of life giving encouragement, of sound character, of strong integrity, of unconditional love, and grace to forgive. All that by time I'm 26.That's a lot to do in one year... guess I better get busy...
I have wanted a pair of diamond earrings for several years now. Since we bought our condo I quit dreaming about them and stopped asking. I just couldn't justify spending the money on such an extravagant gift when they weren't a necessity. And then last night, while enjoying a romantic birthday dinner with my husband, he quietly asks, "Would you like your gift now?" And then he slides over a small box wrapped in a big bow.
While driving home from a friend’s house last night I turned on the radio in the car. There was nothing of interest on any of the music stations, and I didn’t have a good selection of CD’s on hand, so I turned the radio to the AM stations. After a few seconds of scanning I realized that the only thing without static was what sounded like some sort of sports radio broadcast. I was about to switch the channel when I heard, “… Johnny Damon on deck…1 out so far… you are listening to Red Sox baseball…”
While I am not a sports fan, my husband is a bit of a sports addict, especially where the Red Sox are concerned. Though he was not in the car with me I felt almost obligated to listen to the game. Since there was nothing better on the other stations I left the radio tuned there as I continued my drive home.
Several minutes later a strange thing happened… a funny aggravated grunting noise escaped my lips. “What was that? Did I just grunt? Why did I just grunt? OH MY GOODNESS!!! Did I actually just grunt at the radio because Johnny Damon struck out?!?!?!?!?!?!?”
I was in shock, disbelief, wide-eyed-wonder!! Since when had I become interested in baseball???
The rest of the drive home was gruntless but my mind was churning. What did this mean? What had happened to me? Why did I grunt? Slowly it began to dawn on me... I was in love. Not with baseball, but with my husband, and when you love someone, what they love matters to you.
That’s when the Lord began speaking to me. Do I love what He loves? Do I know what His desires for me are? You see, it’s really not about the desires of my heart; it’s about my heart being aligned with His so that our desires are one. It’s about falling in love with a Savior, so much so that I grunt, and yell, and holler, and scream, and cheer, and cry, and praise, and protect, and desire the same thing He desires.
When you fall in love with Him, you fall in love with what He loves, and it changes your life forever.
And doesn’t He have a sense of humor that He would use Red Sox baseball to remind me that?!
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- I am a lover of: God... my sexy husband... 3 of the cutest kiddos in the world... deep friendships... a good book... music that moves me... the beach... sunshine... cooking... and laughter.