| Finding Beauty

Believing

Salty Things, or A Continuation Of An Earlier Post

(In case you missed it, read Part I first.)

I feel that I first must say that this is hard information to adequately convey. I mean hard as in can't find the right words, not as in emotionally difficult. :) I have tried several times to get this all down in a way that does is justice. As if we were having a conversation face to face. It's hard to do y'all!

You see, as I studied the significance of salt I was really blown away. And then, out of this knowledge, the Lord started speaking to me in new and exciting ways.

Salt was a form of currency back in the day. It had value and importance. So much so that in Leviticus 2:13 the Lord God command it be apart of the grain offerings. “Do not leave the salt of the covenant of your God out of your grain offerings.”

And get this; the grain offering was made to show honor and respect to God in worship. Salt was apart of their worshiping God! It was an acknowledgment that all we have belongs to God. It was seen as a symbol of God’s activity in a person’s life, because it "penetrates, preserves and aids in healing". (Haley's Bible Handbook)

In the middle of all this discovery, I was having some really hard days. The kind of days that find you grappling within your spirit. Do you know the kinds of days I am talking about? I was sick to my stomach and on the verge of a panic attack. There was 1 particular situation in my life that I was stressing over. An obligation that was doing me in. I really need clear direction and I wasn't getting any at all.

There I was reading about salt and reading Matthew 5:13 over and over and asking the Lord to shift something in my life, to make some change, to let things loose. (Really, this was a dangerous request, because who knows what He might do! Just shows how desperate I was for resolution.)

Anyway, as I'm reading I realized that I have lost my saltiness. I had become quite content with the status quo and let my flavor fade. At this point the only thing I could do was to cry out to the Lord. So that's how I start praying, "Lord make me salty again! How can I be salt again?!" I was really crying out to Him, seeking direction and I wasn't hearing any response.

Around that time was this worship night thingy that Jonathan was playing drums at. I was looking forward to a good soaking worship time. I thought that maybe I would hear from the Lord then. It would be a more free flowing service and maybe, just maybe, someone would have a word for me or pray over me and the Lord's voice would be made clear. Maybe I would figure out how to be salty again.

That night came and went with not a peep from the heavens.

My soul was downcast and I was feel forgotten. I laid in bed that night and bawled my eyes out. Feeling sorry for myself, I rolled over to go to sleep when, clear as day, my heart heard, "Your tears have salt in them and they are valuable to me."

(more to come...)

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Blabbering, Loving

Funky Hair, Fun Fair

First things first... I got my hair funktified this weekend. I always, ALWAYS, have hair cutters remorse for a few days after the cut, even if I just get a trim. This is a huge change for me so the remorse is a bit more intense, but I think it's starting to grow on me. (Get it, "grow" on me?!?! Ha! I am hilarious!)

Anyhoooo... here are a few pictures...

Not the greatest shots, but I think you can get the idea. I got it cut and had some sassy red highlights added. I wanted something less blah and I would say I got it! :)

Now... on to the fair. We took Jaron yesterday and had a blast! We went with Nanna and Papa (my folks) and Jaron was in awe of just about everything. It was also the night that the Jonas Brothers were in concert so the place was packed with screaming girls! We got a few chuckles in at the antics of the crazed fans.

Here are a few shots of our day at the fair...

Now we are off to enjoy a family Bar-B-Que. Gotta love 3 day weekends! :)

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Believing

Salt

I was smack dab in the middle of a dry spell. I was thirsty for something, anything and yet I was stuck. Dry. Parched. I was struggling with my faith; grappling with indecision; unable to move forward, unwilling to try.

One day I found another woman’s story and it spoke to me. Who she is, and what her testimony contains is not truly important to my story. What is important is that after reading her words, after hearing her heart, after witnessing her depth of peace, I realized my choice had already been made. I could wait it out as long as I wanted, but the God I bound myself to as a child was wooing me back to His heart.

One conviction I’ve had for a long time is that I tend to speed read the bible as though I am reading my favorite novel. That whole quantity vs quality conundrum, you know? As I was reading this woman’s words I found myself most drawn to the stories of her connections to God’s Word. She was going through a tragedy, yet time and time again she found endless comfort in the scriptures she studied. Her secret, she said, was taking it one sentence, one word, at a time.

I wanted what she had. I found myself longing for that connection. I wanted an answer to my loneliness.

A few days later I settled in with my bible… and a few concordances… and my journal… and of course, my favorite pen. :) (Had to be prepared, ya know?!) I quieted my heart before the Lord and asked him to speak to me. Immediately, the words from a Lifehouse song popped into my head.

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

(Everything, by Lifehouse)

Those words consecrated my time with the Lord. They sealed off distractions; they bound up the enemy’s whispers. In the midst of those few phrases I found myself laid bare before Him and completely ready to receive.

When I opened up my bible I was drawn to Matthew 5:13, “You are the salt off the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?”

As I quickly read this verse my mind was already on the next phrase when my heart yelled, “Stop. Go back. Slow down. DON’T MISS THIS!!” Surprised by the intensity of this quickening, I reread the text many times, taking it word by word. As I soaked it up I began to journal my initial thoughts…

Have I lost my saltiness? (YES!)
How does salt lose its saltiness?
How can I be made salty again? Is it possible?
What is/are the purpose(s) of salt?
Flavor, preserver, curing meats, causes water to reach boiling point more quickly...

The more I thought about this verse the more intrigued I became by what the Lord was trying to say to me. I began to research it more in depth and I was profoundly impacted by what I discovered...

(to be continued!)

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Romancing

Happy Last Year Of Your 20's, Babe!

Look how hot he is! I am one lucky woman! :)

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Romancing

Love Story

Andrea, at Sgt and Mrs Hubs, is hosting a Valentine's Day Lovefest! She has invited readers to share the story of how they met their spouse. I think it is a fitting way to celebrate the day of loooooove, so I am joining in. Happy Valentine's Day!! (And don't forget to visit Sgt and Mrs Hubs for some more romantic stories!)

I was lonely after my family made the cross country move. Finding friends my age proved problematic. My only social outlet was with the youth group (at church), where I was an adult leader. For months I went to work, hung out with the high schoolers, and slept. Rinse and repeat. Boring. Depressing. Blah.

I accepted my fate, begrudgingly, until one Sunday hope set a spark in my heart. Across the youth room I saw a handsome face that I couldn’t ignore. This was somewhat bothersome for I was pretty sure that the face belonged to a high school kid and I wasn’t in to cradle robbing. I left church that day putting it out of my mind, but as I said, hope had light a spark. I went about business as usual, forgetting the face, but not the feeling.

My younger brother, Andy, was meanwhile pestering me about some guy he had met at church. According to Andy, said guy was “awesome” and a “California dude” who loved In n’ Out burgers (that won big marks in Andy’s book) and he was a drummer. Since I come from a family of musicians this was an added bonus in Andy’s opinion.

Day after day Andy would taunt me, saying, “You have to meet Jon (name of Andy’s boy toy). I think you should marry him.”

Since my husband “criteria” was a little more sophisticated than “Must love In n’ Out burgers, be an awesome California dude and must play drums”, I didn’t give Andy and his quest much thought.

Several months later I was chaperoning at The Large Youth Event Hosted By Our Church. My brother, being the precocious 14 year old that he was, decided it was time I met “his” Jon, who was also a chaperon at The Large Youth Event Hosted By Our Church.

Trying to hide from Andy and his suitor, I introduced myself into a conversation that my other brother, Gabe, was having with someone named Jonathan.

(Do you see where this is going?)

Hmm, I thought, Jonathan looks strangely familiar...

Halfway through that thought Andy comes running up, "Oh, you've met him already?!"

Yep, you guessed it. Jonathan was Jon. Andy's Jon. The Jon that Andy had been raving about for months now.

But that’s not all… Jonathan was also the good-looking face from months earlier. The face that sparked hope- the one I thought belonged to a high school boy. Was I ever wrong! And folks, can I just say... I was smitten. Right on the spot, I was head over heels infatuated with that man.

I don't believe in love at first sight, but I knew at that moment Andy had been right all along. I was going to marry that man.

And, four years later I did just that.

To read a little more about my romance with Jonathan (it's even better than the first part!), check out this story: Sing A Song, Tell a Love Story

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Believing

Thirsty

Have you ever found yourself without words? Without a way to express what it is your soul is trying to say?

Have you ever found yourself feeling something that you are unable to explain. Or make sense of. Or understand.

Have you ever found yourself speechless, yet wanting- no needing-- no yearning to be heard?

Have you ever found yourself sitting up, late at night, trying to figure out why your heart is beating so fast, and why your skin is tingling, and why you feel as though you might just jump right out of your own skin?

Have you ever found yourself needing to let it all out before it oozes right on out of your pores? And yet you have no idea what it might be?

Tonight I found myself struggling to speak, to be heard, to make sense, to understand.

Tonight, I found that this song said the words my soul was trying to say. And now, I get it.